Radiating in Midlife — No Super Bowl Plans? No Problem ✨

 ✨ Free Resource: Where You Are Right Now
A quiet companion for the in-between seasons. This free reflection invites you to pause, listen inward, and honor where you are — before rushing toward what’s next. 

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In this final episode of Reflections from the Middle, Jessie B and Maureen Mansi explore the theme of Radiate — a deeper, more honest expression of self-honor rooted in nervous system awareness, authenticity, and emotional truth.

They discuss how personal values shift over time, the importance of recognizing when something no longer feels aligned, and the emotional cost of staying “functional” in situations that quietly disconnect us from ourselves. The conversation also highlights the healing power of solitude, the role of self-love in growth, and how radiance can coexist with grief, change, and uncertainty.

This episode is an invitation to trust yourself, release what no longer serves you, and allow your true self to emerge — even in the midst of life’s challenges.

Key themes include:

• Nervous system awareness and emotional health
• Letting go of relationships that no longer serve
• Self-love as a foundation for healing
• The wisdom of solitude
• Trusting yourself through change
• Redefining radiance in midlife

Join us as we wrap up this series and discuss radiating through all midlife has to offer us!

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Transcript

Jessie B (00:00)
Welcome to next chapter women she blooms in solitude, a podcast for women over 40 in the midst of change, seeking healing, self discovery, and a deeper connection to the woman they're becoming. I'm Jess Bordas joined by my co-host Maureen Mancy, and each week we'll uncover how to heal, grow, and reconnect with your inner strength through intentional alone time, emotional wellness, holistic care, and powerful mindset shifts.

so you can step into an identity that finally feels like you. As certified mindset and identity coaches, holistic practitioners, and moms navigating midlife ourselves, we're here to walk with you.

Jessie B (00:42)
Welcome to next chapter Women She Blooms in Solitude, the four part series, Reflections from the Middle, where life isn't falling apart, but it's asking something new of you. This week's theme is radiate, honoring yourself through nervous system awareness, space and authenticity. There's a moment when you realize that you've changed.

And maybe something in your life hasn't quite caught up yet as you're changing. And so over the last few weeks, we've explored what it looks like to release what no longer fits. We talked about renewing our relationship with ourselves and our perspective of ourselves at this time of life and rising even when life isn't ideal. Today, we're closing the series with our final theme, radiate, and we're exploring how radiating isn't about

necessarily being calm, healed, or at peace all the time, but about honoring yourself through what your nervous system is experiencing, especially when something no longer feels aligned. So hi and welcome Maureen.

Maureen Mansi (01:45)
Hi, I have a lot to offer to this ⁓ conversation

today. Thank you, Jess. This is awesome. We're ending the series with a bang. ⁓ So let's talk about how Radiate fits into this session we're gonna talk about today. I have been having a lot of resistance over the past few years with a relationship that I have been in and a lot of parts of it.

Jessie B (01:51)
Yeah.

Maureen Mansi (02:13)
are good, ⁓ but there's a big part of it that's not suiting me. And instead of really, really listening to me inside, my soul is screaming at me and I've, cause my nervous system, all this stuff's going on inside of it. I have anxiety, I had a rock in my back, but I'm resisting it and I'm continuing on this relationship. But with all my inner work.

and all my reiki I have come to a decision this week that I am letting it go for good. So I'm releasing what I've been doing for the past seven years and I'm gonna change it this time. I'm gonna change my patterns. I am going to actually cut off the whole relationship, not talk, just let it go.

and start being with me. I operate a lot on always having somebody in my life. And I'm realizing that I need me now more than anything. So this anxiety has heightened over the past couple of months as we were coming to this episode. And I'm realizing that this is a chapter of my life that I have to shut for good in order for my growth to start to continue.

Jessie B (03:24)
now mind you, this isn't some realization that just dawned on you in the last, couple weeks. You've kind of gone in and out of, over the last, few years I've watched you grapple with, the situation and these feelings for a long time. For a long time.

Maureen Mansi (03:42)
Yes,

yes, a long, long time. But until I'm realizing I'm reaching a higher consciousness in my body, I'm feeling it every day, different things are happening, ⁓ miraculous things are happening, and my realization is becoming stronger. ⁓

of what is working for me. So instead of stuffing it down and putting on a pretty face, I want to practice what I'm preaching. So I have to live that for myself if I want to help others and I'm doing that and I feel really good about where I am. And yeah, in the middle of it, is it hard because I'm getting over a relationship, you know, there's emotions involved, but I feel really, I felt a weight lifted when I finally made a decision.

and it feels really, really good inside because I am worth to be in love with myself again. And as long as that resistance and that relationship was there, I can't do that. I can't rebuild a relationship with myself as long as I have that holding me down.

Jessie B (04:47)
And so today we're really trying to look at this situation through the lens of the nervous system. so experiences like this, it's not something that only happens in romantic relationships. It could happen in friendships. It can happen in family dynamics. It can happen in work environments. I mean, if you've listened to any of our other episodes or podcasts, you've heard us talk about things being off things, not feeling right. And what we really want to harness today

ties to your nervous system it is your nervous system because your nervous system responds not just to physical stress okay to tone to patterns to expectations to emotional dynamics so

Maureen Mansi (05:28)
Yeah,

I like to practice what I preach, but I'm human and sometimes you can talk about it and not really honor what you're feeling inside. And I feel like I'm finally honoring what has been screaming at me, what my soul has been asking me to release. I'm honoring that. So that makes me feel really good and that makes my body feel really good.

I've realized like I less anxiety over the past couple of days. And that's a big thing in my life that I've been carrying. I definitely think attributes to midlife, but I also know that I've been carrying this burden that I've been wanting to release. And I'm seeing how that has helped with this decision that I've made. So.

Jessie B (06:10)
And then.

And that's a big part of what I want to talk about today too, is how this might show up for people. Because in this situation and in other situations, you might feel perfectly fine. You might not feel unsafe. you know the person's good, they're not toxic.

There's not abuse, but something's activated and something's off. you had all this growth and then look back and said, you know what, this other thing, this relationship.

It's not growing with me. It's not evolving. It's not changing. It's staying in this same place and I don't like how that feels.

Maureen Mansi (06:51)
No, and it doesn't feel right. he came over the other night and I hadn't seen this person in two and half weeks and I was angry. It's like Maureen.

Why are you angry? You haven't seen him. it because my consciousness was saying, because it's wrong, you know where this is going and you just have to be honest now with him and yourself. And I

Literally told him the night he was over. I'm outgrowing this relationship and I need to I need to let it go and He'll stay with me because I'm here we have a pretty good relationship But there's other things on his end that wasn't honoring what I was feeling inside about it And that was really really hurting my nervous system

Jessie B (07:33)
Right.

and you got tired of talking about it. You got tired of bringing it up. It's not like you just went la da da da da. these are things that you continued to bring up over the years and say, listen, this bothers me, this bothers me. And you grappled with this it weighed you down. And you see that as you've grown, you start to realize more than ever the things that are weighing you down.

Maureen Mansi (07:38)
Yes.

It was an anchor.

Right. I think it took two for us to start growing our business and have our podcast and us really working on ourselves, especially with the program we were in like really pointing the finger back at ourselves and say, Hey, what, what in our lives is affecting our nervous system that we have to address that is holding us back because I now realize by releasing this, only going to make space.

for something bigger and better to come into my life. And I've already seen it in the past couple of days. I've seen a lot of really great things happening that are unfolding. And it's pretty miraculous, right Jess?

Jessie B (08:35)
Yeah.

And

that's the really good stuff. you deserve to feel that way. people listening, you deserve to feel that way too. internal conflict and these things we're talking about, yes, they're common for any demographic in any age, but we in midlife feel like this is incredibly common right now.

of, want to talk about costs of staying in situations that aren't aligning with you and are taking a toll on your nervous system. the cost isn't that your nervous system becomes dysregulated. That's human. I don't want to.

seem like I'm shaming or saying there's something wrong with you if your nervous system is dysregulated. the cost is what happens when you're not listening to it.

Maureen Mansi (09:16)
yes, I feel really good inside now, but for many years, this resistance that I have in this relationship has held me back and has caused me to feel down and out and angry and, causing a lot of tension in my back.

my body contracting, holding all this pain. And then, you don't realize that that is what's doing it until you start to understand the dynamic of everything that we're talking about

Jessie B (09:45)
about that place where you get used to something and something feels safe

this. But the problem with that is, is that if you stay

in that, you start to really erode your own emotional self-trust.

Maureen Mansi (09:59)
Yes, and it goes back to that whole trust thing. If I don't trust myself, then how do I trust anything or anybody in my life? I have to trust what is being brought to me for my highest good. I'm inviting a lot of trust into my life these days with the things that I want to fill my life with. abundance, joy, purpose. I'm inviting that into my heart. And as I'm inviting that,

in, I'm also saying, what do I want to release to? What do I not want in my life? Which is fear, anxiety, so I breathe in everything I said and then I breathe out all the bad. And that has been helping me regularly. And I feel it unfolding. But when you get comfortable in a relationship before I started to go through all these things, it's easy to stay in it because it's comfortable

But if you don't change something you're not going to get a different result and so I know in my heart it wasn't serving me

Jessie B (10:57)
Well, it's a very bold and powerful thing that you're doing to choose yourself. It's huge. back to eroding emotional self-trust

Did you ever find during the course of this that maybe sometimes over explaining or justifying with yourself or maybe others of staying in it? Because what happens with that is it does teach our nervous system that our own boundaries have to be earned instead of respected.

Maureen Mansi (11:21)
I mean, I don't even think I've realized it, Jess. you just do the same thing every day. But I realize I'm crying a lot. I'm releasing so much internal stuff that I've been resisting for so long that it's just coming out and coming out and I'm addressing it now.

I mean, we're both going through this, Jess. we're both releasing a lot of emotional weight or heaviness of things that are, that have pulled us back and we're staying strong, but we're releasing it and we have to let it go. Crying is the best way to release something. If you feel the need to cry, cry, It really helps with anxiety too.

Jessie B (12:01)
I

Yeah. my personal choice over the last six years to, be single, to be by myself. And as much as I love that and I don't want to give it up and as great as it feels, don't get me wrong, it's not easy. And there's times where, the outside, those distractions and that, that noise I was telling you about that.

Maureen Mansi (12:09)
right?

Jessie B (12:23)
when I heard on the radio the other day that conversation where someone was like, if you are alone at the Super Bowl or you're not at a party or it's New Year's Eve and you're alone, you really need to reassess where you are in life. And they opened this dialogue up about how, don't you feel sorry for that person? maybe there's just, they don't have anyone or they're so alone. What about the people that

Maureen Mansi (12:29)
you're not at a party or it's New Year's Eve and you're alone, you really need to reassess where you are in And

Jessie B (12:46)
Solitude feels good. I'm not lonely. I'm choosing this. I like my own company. As weird as that might sound to some people, it feels pretty darn good, but it took time to get to that point of feeling comfortable and learning to like and then love who I am and feel great in my own company.

Maureen Mansi (13:07)
And, with us, as, you know, best friends and business partners, I have gotten to see you be alone, but not lonely. And that has helped me come to finally this realization. I'm ready to fall in love with myself again, just like you. I love being in solitude and I don't feel lonely. I'm choosing it too. Jess is,

been by herself without a man and wow, what a great example. And I can't remember the last time I was alone without somebody in the wings. And I said, I'm ready for me now. I'm finally ready for this and it's my choice Everybody, has, make their own choices for themselves. You might be looking at this and saying, they're crazy. What? They want to be alone when you're comfortable with yourself and you, you can fill it with, with

all the joys that you want to bring to yourself and not have anybody distract you. You're doing exactly what you want to do in your moments with just you. And what can get better than that?

Jessie B (14:09)
Yeah,

and the thing of it is, if you think of it this way, I spent over two and a half decades always living to make someone else happy. And my happiness was contingent upon their happiness, and it always came back to me. It always came back to, am I doing enough? Did I do this right? How can I make him happy? It was never, ever about me and what made me feel happy.

And so five or six years is a fraction of the time, I've only spent five or six years saying, you know what? I'm prioritizing that. That's what I'm doing.

Maureen Mansi (14:42)
Right, right. And you

have to and we can't make people happy. We spend so many moments of our life trying to make people happy and we can't do it. The only people we can make happy is ourselves. So let's make ourselves the first priority.

Jessie B (14:57)
going back to radiating, one message that was really important for me to put out today was to say that, you know, you don't have to be Zen and singing kumbaya and just never having an issue to be radiating. radiating doesn't mean that you never feel overwhelmed.

Maureen Mansi (15:08)
Right.

Jessie B (15:18)
It means that you don't disappear when you do. it's that piece of the awareness like we always talk about and then saying, okay, I'm gonna honor myself. Now I'm radiating. This might not be the best moment. I might not feel great and things might be going on with me, but I'm gonna choose me And that's how you radiate.

Maureen Mansi (15:37)
And just to your point, Jeff's I'm in the thick of a breakup right now. I can't control what he's going to do. So I just have to still stay my course. If I want things to continue on a path of me loving me, I can't feed into what's out there or a phone call that's coming in. I don't have.

Jessie B (15:55)
Hey, listen,

you're gonna be, you're live on YouTube, so you're gonna be accountable now. It's out there, saw this quote the other day and I wanted to add this to our talk that, radiance isn't sunlight that only shows up on clear days. It's more like a lighthouse, steady in calm waters and visible during the storm.

and I really liked that. I thought that was good. So just to look back on what we've done during this series, we've released, letting go of old coping patterns, that connection with yourself, and reframing how you see yourself at this time of life. Rising, choosing movement and honesty and action.

Maureen Mansi (16:19)
It's so good.

Jessie B (16:38)
when it's not always convenient or easy. And then today radiating, staying self-connected in every state, no matter how you're feeling. we try to offer a little practice or something that people can do, and then you can add onto this Maureen. this week, practice noticing how you respond to yourself when you're dysregulated. That's it. do you rush to...

to calm yourself for others? Are you explaining away your discomfort? Are you allowing yourself space without justifying? Just notice, see what happens.

Maureen Mansi (17:10)
Yeah, see what impacts you this week and take notice of it. Get a journal, write it down, write these things down. and see at the end of the week what comes up for you by doing this.

Jessie B (17:23)
So, is this some reflection questions, to build onto this, what changes when you treat dysregulation as information and not a problem? So just reframe me and go, this isn't a problem. There's nothing wrong with me. This is information. I'm going to use this to inform what I do next and where might honoring your nervous system bring more clarity, even if nothing changes immediately. And that's a hard one.

Maureen Mansi (17:45)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Jessie B (17:45)
Because sometimes you got to sit

and stuff that's uncomfortable and we're human. We want instant gratification but sometimes you have to sit with stuff and it doesn't feel good.

Maureen Mansi (17:52)
Yeah.

or you just or you ignore it. It keeps coming back around and you keep sitting in it and you keep sitting in it. It's like well, I'll just stay in it because it's comfortable. This is what I know and you don't want to address it. And so then there you go. You have the anxiety. The wheels are turning. things creep up and you just can't get to an answer because maybe you're not allowing the answers to come.

Jessie B (17:58)
Yeah.

Maureen Mansi (18:18)
It's when again we get quiet. That's when they come. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Jessie B (18:21)
Yeah, sometimes you're looking too hard for the answer. I'm guilty of that. I'm gonna, why is this happening? Why is this

going on? There has to be a reason. What's going on right now? No, let's go back to The part where you were talking about the transformation and just in the last few days, how you're feeling right now in your own body and emotionally with this thing that's going on for you.

Maureen Mansi (18:31)
Mm-hmm.

amazing, I'm looking at myself saying I love you. Today I put on love songs and I didn't relate them to loving somebody else, but I took them back to me loving me. And it makes me emotional because I'm ready to fall in love with myself all over again.

Jessie B (18:49)
⁓

Yeah.

It's beautiful. I couldn't have done this or thought about this, know, 20 years ago. And then at 10 years ago, I even thought about I wonder what that feels like. I like things about myself, but what would that feel like to fall in love with myself? And it's almost just kind of confronting yourself and saying Hey, I'm worth it.

this series was never about fixing your life. It was more about noticing what's forming for you at this time. And radiating It's about staying connected to yourself, no matter the weather, being true to you.

Maureen Mansi (19:30)
Right.

Be true to yourself.

it's not about it being perfect.

Jessie B (19:36)
if this conversation resonates with you guys at all, we created a gentle guided reflection, called Where You Are Right Now. It's a space to listen and discover what's going on inside of you. And you can find the link in the comments below.

I really enjoyed doing this whole series together with you. And I hope that if there's one person out there that this helped, or even if the conversation resonated with them, then that makes me truly happy inside.

Maureen Mansi (20:01)
if this resonated with you and you want to see more of us, we're on Facebook, Growth Catalyst, LLC is our page. So you can start there.

Jessie B (20:10)
Alright, until next time, bye!

Maureen Mansi (20:12)
Bye!