Rise in Midlife: Overcoming Single Mom Stress and Moving Forward

Single motherhood, exhaustion, and responsibility can make it feel impossible to move forward with your dreams. In this episode of Reflections from the Middle, we talk about what it really means to rise when life isn’t ideal.

This is Week 3 of our Reflections from the Middle series, where we explore the theme Rise — choosing movement even when your life is full, resources feel limited, and the weight of responsibility is real.

Jessie B and Maureen Mansi share honest reflections from their journeys as single mothers navigating different realities — full custody, shared custody, financial pressure, self-doubt, and the quiet fear of wanting more when life already asks so much.

In this episode, we talk about:
 • Rising without hustle or burnout
 • Why sustainability matters more than speed
 • The hidden cost of staying still for too long
 • How support and community change everything
 • Taking small, intentional steps when you don’t feel ready

Jessie also shares how discovering the concept of single parent stress syndrome helped her release self-blame and understand that exhaustion isn’t a personal failure — it’s often the result of carrying too much alone.

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Transcript

Jessie B (00:01.967)
Okay, welcome to next chapter, women, she blooms in solitude. Our four part series, Reflections from the Middle, where life isn't falling apart, but it's asking something new of you. This week's theme, week three, is Rise. We're choosing movement when, blah, edit that out. This week's theme, week three, is Rise. Choosing movement when life isn't ideal. So maybe there's a moment when you want more.

but your life feels too full to make room for it. Today, we're talking about what it actually looks like to rise, especially when you're doing life with limited time, limited money, and a lot of responsibility. So I know that we can both talk about that piece, about as single moms, about a lot of responsibilities, right Maureen?

Maureen Mansi (00:52.014)
Right, absolutely. So I want to tell you a little bit about, you know, where I wanted to rise above, even given being where I am in my situation. I've been at the same job for 14 years and my son is a senior in high school and I'm wondering why I'm not growing in that position. There was an opportunity to move on to another position and it was taken away from U.S. employees and just given to our

into like other countries like the UK, India because they're paid less there. So that opportunity was taken away from us here in the US. So I thought, okay, it is what it is. I'm gonna keep doing my job. But I was finally at a point to move on somewhere and then I realized, wait, this is in a roadblock. This is a detour for something bigger for me that is meant for me. So now I'm not looking at it as being stuck

and wow, like what am I gonna do and nothing ever works out for me. This detour is really the reason I came to wanna start to look at another opportunity to have a business, to build a business. So I took that and instead of being negative about it, I turned it into something I'm supposed to do something greater and better and.

Jessie B (02:06.751)
Mmm.

Maureen Mansi (02:17.57)
make a purpose for me and speak my voice and really help other women. So that's why with working a full-time job and holding down the household and raising my son, let's just do this. But Jess, so tell me about you and how this came to fruition for you rising above in your situation.

Jessie B (02:39.839)
That was so beautiful what you said. love that. I just loved it was so beautiful because I feel like For us as single moms and anybody as a single mom No matter what you're trying to do that rising to the occasion doesn't always start with a confidence Sometimes it's this restlessness this yearning this calling You might have a dream or desire, but you've also got this really this real life

Okay. And these circumstances that are, can be less than ideal. And I heard you just described that, but that mindset shift that, that you made and, that's so beautiful. And so for me, you know, without going into the whole history of like, we knew we wanted to start a business and without the previous going down that road of the previous business that we attempted to start and all that, you know, we knew that we wanted something more.

And I think that it's just inside of us. We never ever had a victim card. You know, we never wanted to be the victim. We knew that these were the cards that we were dealt and we were going to help each other get through it. And we both wanted something more out of life. I know that you had been a single mom longer than I had, and I came into it when my kids were teens. And that was interesting.

Maureen Mansi (04:07.138)
Yeah, but you did it.

Jessie B (04:08.735)
But yeah, with a lot of your help, like there's a lot that I wouldn't have gotten through without you because I was doing it completely, I was doing it alone. I didn't have any support or involvement really minimal, limited from the other party. And so I did rely a lot on you for a lot of things, but I can't even remember the exact moment. I just know that

you know, we've never played the victim card and we decided that like we want more and we're going to figure out how to rise to this occasion and make more, you know, for ourselves, for our lives, because it'll impact not just us, but our kids. And so, you know, there's a lot of mindset stuff there. And I know that we kind of talked about this before, but you know, our situations being different and whatnot.

Hmm, trying to figure out how to how to go into this. I think that before I talk about like my personal story and something that I did want to share, I want to say that for lot of women, a lot of women, especially single moms, that what we're describing could be like a complicated moment, okay, because you're responsible, you're careful, you've learned not to risk what you can't afford to lose.

like whatever your situation is and this is the place. That's the spot where a lot of women get stuck because they want to rise. But sometimes maybe you feel irresponsible for even wanting it or you doubt yourself and think like, you know, I'll just have to wait. How's that even possible? How's that something I could do right now? And so today we're sharing that how we did it without waiting.

Maureen Mansi (06:02.381)
Yeah.

Jessie B (06:03.313)
those thoughts. We had all of that inside of us, but something, and Maureen, to be honest with you, I don't know what it was. I can't place what it was. I guess it was just the desire was there and the fire was there so much that was just making the choice.

Maureen Mansi (06:21.792)
It goes back to that intuition. was, goes back to listening to what is good for you despite the challenges to get there and with the support of each other and with the support of our tools that we use like meditation and movement and being in nature and

All these things help give you a clearer picture of where you should be headed for yourself. And when you listen, it moves mountains. Now, I don't operate a lot on distraction. don't use, I don't listen to the news. I don't listen to a lot of people and get people talking in my ear about, and I feel that when you give it space to listen inside and quiet, it helps guide you.

in the direction that you're supposed to go. And I think that that's where we kind of rose above the challenges and we're like, we can do anything because we're being guided to do this. So we will find the resources. We will do this. We'll support each other. We'll find the resources. We'll do what we have to do in order to... And we'll trust. That's the biggest thing, trusting that...

Jessie B (07:21.843)
Yes.

Jessie B (07:30.077)
We'll trust that we'll, and we'll trust, we'll trust that we will.

Maureen Mansi (07:36.641)
how hard it is, keep going, keep showing up, keep doing what you are being guided to do to get on that path. So, but with that said, Jess, let's go and talk about, you know, some of the things in your head that you went through before we had that epiphany or some of the fears that you had before we wanted to do this and, know.

Jessie B (07:52.849)
Mmm. Yeah.

Jessie B (08:00.047)
Yeah, I mean, there was a, know that I was, I was so stressed out and I knew that like, do I need support? Like there has to be a support group near me. You know, there's gotta be something, there has to be some help. And so I remember actively searching for language, you know, Googling to explain what I was experiencing, not.

Not because I thought something was wrong with me, but I just knew that maybe the level of exhaustion that I have, wasn't just about being tired or whatever I was worried about, doubting myself, you know, because when you're doing it completely alone, there were, I had to make all the decisions. I didn't share that with anyone. And if I was feeling so stressed and anxiety-ridden about if I...

Simple things like my kid going out and staying X Y & Z You know as 16 17 year old whatever at the time maybe 15 year old if I make one wrong choice Or if I make a choice, and I think it's right, but it ends up being wrong. I own that it's all my fault It doesn't nothing and then he's gonna come back and go well. Why did you do that or great job? You know it was scary

You know, I remember, so I was looking all of this stuff up and I came across this term, single parent stress syndrome. And it's not a diagnosis. It's not in the DSM-5, you know, like conditions, mental health and stuff like that. But it does describe something very real and it refers to this chronic.

physical, mental, emotional exhaustion that can happen when one person is carrying the full weight, the entire thing of it, of parenting, household responsibility, financial stability, and often without, like, enough support. So, you know, that's where I was. And I really can't remember that line between going, okay, this is something, I'm being validated, this is normal, something's happening to me, and then...

Jessie B (10:14.799)
maybe like there's no fine line of stepping over and going, and by the way, I really want, you know, to have a business. And let me just, it all kind of blended. It was like bits and pieces, but there was a point when we talk about a lot of mindset and mindset shifts where after reading about that and thinking and feeling almost like, even though I didn't join a support group, but feeling a little relief,

where I kind of stopped in my tracks and said, this isn't a personal failure, it's just some sort of systemic overload that I'm having, and to be able to stop blaming myself.

Maureen Mansi (10:55.83)
Right. And I remember when you were telling me about this, I could be supportive, but I wasn't in your situation because I had my son a week on a week off and you have your kids all the time. So I would get that week break space, you know, release whatever I had to emotionally deal with with my, you know, my kid every other week. And you had to take the burdens and, you know, bear all that.

stuff with your emotions and the physical, you know, tiredness. Every day, you never got a break. And so you never had space to say, have breathing room. So you were constantly saying, I got to make the decisions and I'm, you know, it's all on me. But once you started to give yourself a little grace, as you said, it started to get a little bit better. So I'm proud of you.

Jessie B (11:48.265)
Yeah.

I do want to say that, aww, aww, thank you. I couldn't have done any, thank God you were there for me. Cause all the phone calls, through all the phone calls, like something happening and having this huge fight with one of my kiddos, you know, teens, like it's different, you know, when they're teens, it's so different. And we're all, if you, you know, just starting out, like learning how to parent teens. And this could be a whole nother show while you're a single parent.

Maureen Mansi (11:57.237)
Here to listen.

Jessie B (12:19.065)
That's a whole nother show in itself, but I was looking up as I reflected back on this single parent stress syndrome that, you know, I found that there's research that backs this up and shows that single moms experience clearly, like, higher rates of psychological distress and loneliness.

than partnered mothers, and not because they're weaker, but the load is heavier. And I do have to say before we move on that that was another feeling that I remember having was the loneliness. I can't put a finger on it. I don't know why, but it was a very lonely place. And so go ahead, sorry.

Maureen Mansi (13:01.976)
Now, when you said like you felt isolated, like there was an isolated feeling. And I remember saying that I felt the same way. And it was in our transitional periods before we decided like we can do something bigger. There was almost like we're sitting here, we're feeling lonely, we're feeling isolated. We had a calling that we were meant to do more. And go ahead. So Jeff, tell me, right?

Jessie B (13:17.673)
Yeah.

Jessie B (13:25.915)
Yes. Yes, no, no, I totally agree. And that's that understanding of that, that I was able to work through with you in real time, you know, is where something changed for me, because I stopped seeing that exhaustion, the isolation, that anxiety, that worry as a flaw. I'm not flawed. Like, it's okay. And I could stop forcing myself to try to

rise in ways that just weren't sustainable. So yeah, that's, that's what I have to say about that. Because there's, sorry, go ahead. Yeah, yeah. And there's, and that takes us into this pivot of, you know, hidden costs for staying in these spots. And when we're, when I'm saying staying in these spots, it's these spots of not just trying to get by, but I think we came to a place where

Maureen Mansi (14:00.239)
No, I'm not. Right. We're not swole. We're human. No.

Jessie B (14:23.347)
you know, getting by, doing it, doing what you have to do, but also wanting more. So figuring out like, I know I want more, but I'm not acting on it. And these are the hidden costs that I'm referring to as I open up this conversation. I don't know if you want to share something, cause I, it looked like you were about to say something.

Maureen Mansi (14:44.236)
Yeah. So wanting something more instead of just going through the motions of every day and say, no, I'm doing this because I'm, you know, I can pay the bills and I'm, making dinner and I'm still, you know, I'm running my household, but you have this yearning for something more and to want something more. And that passion inside of you finally decides to come out and say, let's go for it. Let's do it. Let's, you know,

Jessie B (15:14.867)
Yes, exactly. That's exactly. And again, all of this stuff is it's really difficult to pinpoint the exact, to walk down memory lane and pinpoint this exact moment in time when your brain felt this way. But some hidden costs are, you know, things like, I know you'll relate to this Maureen, know you would. Normalizing being unfulfilled, okay? Just normalizing it. Like we're supposed to walk around on this planet.

because we're given this circumstance that's not easy and we just really have to deal with that and it's normalizing, being unfulfilled because then your life starts to shrink and there's less moments when you feel alive.

Maureen Mansi (16:00.247)
Right. I think too, and I don't want to say like boredom was a big part of it because I'm bored of this job. Although I'm happy and I like my coworkers, but my son's getting older and he's got a job and he's not here as much. And, and here we are alone, like in our spaces and you know, we've just wanted something more. We wanted to have a purpose-filled, passionate life for us to start feeling filled in our own body.

Jessie B (16:19.357)
Yeah.

Maureen Mansi (16:30.36)
and then have it, you know, go out to other people. We just want to talk to people that maybe if you're listening right now and you're feeling this way and you don't know like what to do, you're bored, you feel isolated, you feel depressed, maybe there's a calling inside of you. And we're not saying it's always easy, but again, you have to have a support system. But if you feel inside that you want to live a life full of purpose,

your dreams because we only have one life to live and it may be harder than it might sound hard but there are resources and if you want to get stronger there's resources out there to go with your passion or what desire to do.

Jessie B (17:10.27)
Yeah.

Jessie B (17:15.399)
And boom, you just said it. You just said it. Maybe there's a calling inside of you. Sometimes you don't know what's going on with you. Like you have these feelings, but it's like we always say through this whole series and all our other podcasts, the feelings are there telling you something. Although we can say that in hindsight and we've always lived intuitively, but I don't necessarily know. Sometimes you feel these things and it's normal to not.

to not know why or think, hmm, let me stop when I'm in the middle of all this chaos, maybe this is telling me something. But to what you're talking about, about your dreams and all that, because God forbid you don't want to get to a place where dreaming feels childish or irresponsible. You don't want to get to a place where you start to lose the ability to not be able to imagine yourself with a different life. That's where you don't, those are the hidden costs. You don't want it to come to that.

Maureen Mansi (18:09.55)
and say that you're not worth it. You know, this is the way my life always has been. This is the way it's meant to go. Change the story in your head. Know that you can do anything that you really want to do. It's not without a lot of hard work and a lot of direction and a lot of listening to, you know, your intuition inside. But if you're led to do something, you know, start seeing these signs. I think that the big thing with Jess and I is that we started to

listen and we started to see things in our lives as not just saying well that was coincidence but things were being put in our lives and showing us and it was up to us to see them and say not pass them by but to go for it and go with it be like you know that is that is a sign that was directed towards us let's you know explore that a little bit more as opposed to ignoring it

Jessie B (18:51.281)
Yes.

Jessie B (19:04.861)
Yes, have and explore these desires. Because you there is a place that is completely normal to feel like, well, as long as nothing's falling apart, it's okay where you get to a place where your goal is nothing's falling apart. I remember having that feeling where like where I had boxing gloves on thinking like

Every single thing that would happen, like, I would deal with it go, okay, well nothing's falling apart now, but when's that next thing coming? Let me get ready for it. You know, you're- because you're the only person holding everything together, and so sometimes staying still can feel like the safest choice. But safety without movement is just... You could be killing your dreams and really betraying your authentic self.

Maureen Mansi (19:46.254)
Bye.

Maureen Mansi (19:56.109)
Right. Survival mood. Is that healthy for us? Is that what we say we're in survival mood because that's just going to get us through? But are you really surviving in your best life when you're in that mood? mean, survival mood, it's kind of a, it's, that sounds negative to me. Surviving fully, you know, despite the challenges and rising above and following your dreams. That's the survival.

mood I want to begin.

Jessie B (20:28.211)
Yeah, and you said something the other day and I said, I'm going to write that down for the talk because I loved it. And your quote was rise above, even if it's a risk, rise above.

Maureen Mansi (20:41.388)
Right. And everything's a risk. Is it a risk worth taking for your happiness and for your purpose in life? Absolutely. And if you feel ready to talk things through with real support, we also offer private coaching. You can book a conversation with us if you want to move forward in a way that feels steady, supported, and true to you. You'll find that link in the description below.

Jessie B (21:06.001)
Yeah, and if you're listening to this and wondering what rising could look like for you, not someday, but now, you know, think about what it is that you're being asked to rise above, okay? Because for us, in this talk, we're discussing starting a business, but it could be anything for you. Rebuilding after divorce, navigating single motherhood, reclaiming your identity, making some hard decision.

It could be any of those things, not one in particular.

Maureen Mansi (21:39.151)
creating a new relationship with your children that maybe was hurt in the past. Just reaching out to people that you think about all the time and that maybe you don't reach out to. Or just calling somebody on the phone out of the blue. Just anything that resonates really good with you that's going to help you feel full inside. It doesn't have to be starting a business. It could be the smallest thing that could change your life.

Jessie B (21:42.271)
Yeah.

Maureen Mansi (22:09.144)
could change somebody else's life too.

Jessie B (22:11.483)
Yeah. And so I've got some, some things I was thinking about and tell me what you think about these that you could, you know, little steps that somebody might be able to do or take, you know, for us, we didn't have the funds, the startup funds for this business when we wanted to go into this venture. So it was like, okay, well, we're still going to do it anyway. We're going to do the researching instead of like this launching where we're announcing like, I mean, we launched it.

Quietly, so it doesn't always have to look like some loud huge announcement There's always something you can do to get you towards that end goal and like Maureen said it could be maybe just having one honest conversation with whomever Especially the one thing that we always stuck to was just carving out that space to protect our energy Those are that's all stuff that helped us Keep it sustainable so

Maureen Mansi (23:10.754)
Yes, right, exactly. The things that we do for us personally are the reasons that we're here today. The tools that we have used have really helped us. So we wouldn't be here if we didn't do some self-care and do some reflection and meditation and movement and nature and you know, all these things come to us when we are using our tools.

Jessie B (23:27.827)
Yeah.

Jessie B (23:37.767)
Yeah, and if you look back at previous talks in this series, you know, some other ideas of things that you could do or, you know, releasing one false responsibility. If you walk away from this today and you're wondering, what could I take from this? What could I do? Maybe it's just releasing one false responsibility, which is, what am I carrying right now that was never meant to be mine? Because that happens a lot to us as single moms.

we're forced to, or we think we're forced to, carry so much that isn't necessarily ours to be carried.

Maureen Mansi (24:14.858)
And I know that, you know, this might seem overwhelming, but just like just said one small thing, you know, put on a meditation. I found one today. Self-love. Just start loving yourself knowing that, you know, when you say I am enough.

I am enough today and I'm going to do one small thing that shows that I love myself today. That is a step in the right direction and just these small steps will grow into bigger steps down the line and you start seeing how much you're worth that self love and you start to believe it.

Jessie B (24:54.181)
Yeah, because rising isn't about proving anything. What I'm hearing, and what is so true that you're saying so eloquently that it was true for both of us, is rising is about staying connected to yourself while you move. So taking steps, everything's intentional. Yeah, stay connected to yourself while you're moving. So I do want to offer that if this conversation is resonating, it usually means something inside of you is waking up.

Maureen Mansi (25:09.944)
powerful.

Jessie B (25:20.839)
And you don't have to figure that out alone. We created a free guided reflection where you are right now. It's a gentle experience that helps you slow down, get clear, and understand what this season is asking of you. It's not about fixing yourself. It's about listening, listening to yourself. And you can find a link in that description below. So to kind of wrap things up with a reflection and a closing here, just to reiterate, rising.

It doesn't have to look bold. Sometimes it's quiet. You might be rising right now and you don't even know it. Sometimes it's soft and slow and quiet. It's not some big and bold thing. But if you're still listening to the part of you that wants more, you're already rising. That's the big message and we're really glad that you're here.

Maureen Mansi (26:08.834)
Yes, we are. Thank you for joining us today. And if any of this resonated with you, please contact us. We'd love to hear from you. We can meet you where you are and we will be happy to be of support to you.

Jessie B (26:22.385)
Alright, so until next time, bye!

Maureen Mansi (26:25.007)
Bye!