Perimenopause Made Me Lose My Eyelashes & Changed How I See Myself

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 Episode 6 Reflections from the Middle | Week 2: Renew
 Life isn’t falling apart — it’s asking something new of you.

In this episode of Reflections from the Middle, Jessie B and Maureen Mansi explore the emotional, physical, and identity shifts many women experience during midlife — especially around perimenopause and hormonal change.

Even when life looks “fine” on the outside, something inside may feel unfamiliar. Your body feels different. Your emotions fluctuate. Your sense of self begins to shift. And it can leave you wondering: What is happening to me?

In Week 2: Renew, we talk about:

• Why midlife changes can feel disorienting and emotional
• How perimenopause and hormonal shifts impact mood, body image, and identity
• The hidden cost of resisting change instead of listening to it
• Why renewal isn’t about becoming someone new — but honoring who you’re becoming
• How awareness and self-acceptance can help you feel more at home in yourself again

This conversation is for women over 40 who feel disconnected, tender, or quietly questioning who they are becoming — and want reassurance that they are not alone.

✨ Renewal doesn’t mean starting over. It means returning to yourself — with compassion.

Chapters / Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to Midlife Changes
 01:13 Personal Experiences with Body Changes
 05:22 Emotional Fluctuations and Mood Changes
 10:42 The Importance of Awareness and Acceptance
 14:00 Hidden Costs of Not Renewing
 17:40 Seeking Support and Community
 19:30 Finding Beauty in Becoming

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Transcript

Jessie B (00:01.179)
Okay, welcome to next chapter Women She Blooms in Solitude, the four part series Reflections from the Middle, where life isn't falling apart, but it's asking something new of you. This video is for women in midlife, especially women over 40 who feel like something has shifted internally. Even if everything on the outside looks perfectly fine. So you might be navigating hormonal changes,

perimenopause, feeling more emotional, anxious, disconnected from yourself, wondering, why don't I feel like me anymore? Today, we're talking about renewal. And so everything is gonna be through the lens of hormones, perimenopause, and identity. Not from a medical or clinical standpoint, I feel like that's important to note, but just from a lived emotional experience, that standpoint.

We're exploring what happens when your body changes, your emotional landscape changes, and the identity that once made sense, just doesn't really fully fit anymore. So welcome and hi Maureen!

Maureen Mansi (01:13.455)
Hi Jess, I'm happy to be here as always. How are you today?

Jessie B (01:16.273)
Yeah, I'm great. So we've been talking about doing something like this because we feel like we can really connect, you know, with other women, with other people in midlife because a lot of these issues that we all have going on. And I'm just going to let you talk. I don't know if you want to kick things off with your eyelashes.

Maureen Mansi (01:38.03)
yeah, let's start there. So my idea or going into this stage of life and I'm fully in it, I'm 52 years old. I am in the perimenopausal stages, but I'm realizing that this stage in my life, I'm feeling differently. My body is changing. My breasts are drooping. A couple of weeks ago, I lost eyelashes.

And I've never lost eyelashes before in my life. now everything I'm doing, I'm Googling, like, is this perimenopause? Is this perimenopause? So with the eyelashes, I'm just going with it and being okay with it, I guess. They'll grow back, they say. Or I could probably get a growth thing, but I haven't really looked into that. Like a growth ointment. What else?

Jessie B (02:32.259)
Do you think that that's what is going on? That clump of eyelashes fell? Because when you told me, I was listening, I'm like, of course this is plausible, and of course this could be one of the gazillion things that happened to us, and sorry, my headset keeps drooping back and about to fall. But then I also asked you, was like, are you sure it's not your mascara?

Maureen Mansi (02:56.558)
I mean, I've used different mascaras my whole life. I do use eyelash curlers and it's never happened before. So I was saying, I think everything I'm using is okay. But all of a sudden I'm putting my mascara on one day and I don't remember the exact time that the eyelashes fell out. I don't throw clumped on my eyelash curler. But they...

fell out. So I'm trying to, well, I'll just take my glasses off. You probably can see it. There's a big space. So I'm trying to clump them together to make them to fill in the space. And it's really not working. So I'm just going to embrace this. So Jess, how about you?

Jessie B (03:46.691)
It's hard. Well, isn't it hard to embrace? Because I'm going to tell you right now, like when you're talking about we and we had this conversation earlier this week, when you're talking about embracing things and then you mentioned like your chest, I'm sorry, but it's really hard for me to embrace my this whole thing that happens with my chest because I already have enough issues with my chest in the first place. Because I guess anybody that knows me.

you know, I have like a larger chest and you know, that's great and that's fine and all when you know, you're 20 years old and whatever in your 20s and even in into my 30s too and people would be like, like you're so blessed. Like you're lucky. Like you have big boobs. Yeah, no, I'm not because the older you get, the lower they hang and it doesn't look good anymore. And it's really hard for me to find the right bra. Like they're just going down. Gravity is pulling them down. Okay.

And so it's, it's, these are things that, like, normal struggles, and I just feel like, you know, it's a constant battle to be able to, you know, embrace changes like this. Like, to feel okay about it.

Maureen Mansi (04:40.397)
Yeah.

Maureen Mansi (04:53.006)
And sure, and I don't know if any of you, I'm a happy person, I work on myself. Some days I get up, I just, I feel off. And I'm like, I never felt like this before. Like, I guess it's those chemicals working through us during this stage of our life that make us feel like down and out and not happy sometimes. And as much work as I do on myself, I wake up and feel like,

okay, and I gotta motivate myself. that has to be another part of, know, moody up and down, just the mood changes and really motivating myself to get into another place mentally. I feel that that is another part of going through this midlife perimenopause or wherever you are in the stage of life is that your mood and we can beat ourselves up about it. Cause it's like, just...

I do everything and I don't know why I don't feel good today. And the chemicals in our bodies are changing and that is probably the reason. So Jess, how do you feel? Like how do you feel when you get up? I know you're a little younger than me in midlife, but.

Jessie B (05:57.927)
Yeah, yeah. I feel you from-

For me, I just feel like I have a lot of, not necessarily the emotional part. I won't go down that, my whole history of antidepressants and things like that, like my mental health.

Luckily, I'm on a good one right now. That helps me, but I have a lot of internal conflict mentally, especially now that we had to get on social media. I mean, we didn't have to, but kind of you do for like our business and whatnot. And just all of the input, all of the messages and things that you see, I just have a lot of internal conflict, you know, just thinking about.

stuff that I'm going through and noticing things. So I go through these ups and downs, these phases. There's times where I'll be on FaceTime connecting with my kiddo who's away at college. And this isn't all the time, but I'll go through these phases where this occurs. looking, I guess it's because she's so young and she's got that glow and that skin. And not that I don't have a glow, but my eyes start to go to like,

Alright, these are kinda, these 11s, they're cropping up. There's a depression starting there, and I'm like noticing like jowls forming things on my face. It's just really hard not to notice and observe these things about yourself. And people are gonna say whatever, people are gonna, who may be older, look at this and be like, what are you, what are you talking about? Like, you're fine, you're a baby, look at now or.

Maureen Mansi (07:18.808)
Mm-hmm.

Jessie B (07:43.281)
whatever, it's just that this is a transitional time. So it's not that easy for us. I mean, I feel like a core challenge is that many women come to, you know, this stage of life. I think it's normal to feel emotionally overwhelmed, sensitive, unsure of yourself, because I hear you talking about emotional overwhelm and I hear me talking about like being unsure of myself or not knowing if I'm okay or ready to embrace

you know, some of these changes, some people feel disconnected. It's, there's almost a grief period that is like, and I don't know how people will receive this either, but mourning the loss of that woman that you once were. You're not that woman anymore. And so sometimes what happens to us as women is we start telling ourselves these, you know, the story that something's wrong with me, you know.

And a lot of this isn't our fault. A lot of it is the input, the messages we receive. But obviously today we're here because we're trying to navigate looking at this through a different lens and to offer a different perspective.

Maureen Mansi (08:50.99)
lens. Yeah, and if you're watching this, and you can completely, you know, connect with what we're saying. And just going back to, you know, I think where I am with all these changes in my body right now and my emotions right now is that I can recognize and accept that

you know midlife and what you know the perimenopause or the hormonal changes are definitely you know impacting how I am on a daily basis but I'm recognizing it and I can I can change it like if I'm with my son and I'm real moody and I'm cranky I

I maybe don't recognize it in the beginning, but I'm being aware of it maybe at some point during the day and say, hey, honey, it's woman stuff. It's midlife woman stuff. I'm least acknowledging that. So if you are feeling like that too, and you're moody, cranky, just being aware of how you are and knowing, and that could smooth things over. I'm all about like, you know,

Taking a moment and reflecting on it if it wasn't one of my good ones and saying hey all right pull back now go talk and say this is what's going on and Sometimes I just can't control it like how I feel. I'm like really

Jessie B (10:16.615)
Hmm hmm, yeah So listening to yourself instead of just overriding whatever is happening and that goes back to that awareness piece that we always talk about and I'd like to offer this too because I feel like as coaches and as women in a lot of the work that we've done in our journey over the last however many years What we've noticed is that

Maureen Mansi (10:26.806)
Yes.

Jessie B (10:42.995)
renewing your relationship with yourself is really the basis and the start of healing, but addressing some of these things that go on. So you can, if you're listening to the beginning of this, would be, it may sound confusing because it's like, well, you said you're experiencing this. Yes, we live these things every day, but something that is, is helping us to navigate it and has helped us to navigate it is that renewal.

of that relationship and connection to ourselves.

Maureen Mansi (11:16.514)
Yes, and however that looks like for you, however you heal through this midlife journey you're going on, do the things that make you feel good. We do a really good job of beating ourselves up and saying, I don't look good, I don't look pretty, I don't feel good, this person's better. We at Midlife have to get back to ourselves and how we are supposed to be in our own skin.

and not compare ourselves with everybody all the time because we're all unique in our own way and we're all aging in our own way.

Jessie B (11:47.987)
Tsss!

So we could basically like renew our expectations of who we are at this point of our lives is what kind of like when I hear you saying allowing your knee allowing sorry this thing keeps falling down this might be in the recording might not allowing your your needs to change they've changed

Maureen Mansi (12:03.33)
Yeah. Yeah.

Maureen Mansi (12:16.13)
Yes, yes, absolutely. And if this resonates with you and you get it and you're going through it, please connect with us.

Jessie B (12:30.129)
Are there any other little... So this part is gonna have to get clipped out. This is off... Show off camera conversation. See then with this outline chat GPT goes back to share personal reflection. Well, I feel like we've already done that. Okay, so here now I'm go into a hidden cost. All right. So... All right, so moving forward before we just bridge over into this like...

renewal, the end of this, I think it's important also talk about to all of the watch, all of the viewers, all the people listening, whoever is feeling these things at whatever level, physically, emotionally, spiritually, you know, there are hidden costs of not renewing, of, you know, it's important to notice these things are happening, but when we're not reframing

you know, how we're gonna function with all of this stuff, you come to a place where you could be just staying in self-judgment, pushing through exhaustion, trying to be who you were instead of this person you're becoming. So I don't know if you can think of or offer any other hidden cost to not renewing, not stepping into this becoming who we're becoming.

Maureen Mansi (13:51.886)
Just going down a rabbit hole of negativity in this new way in your body and not living your fullest life because you're down and out about it. I I know we're all different and we all deal with how we're feeling inside in multiple ways, but just embracing what you're becoming and going with it and just...

embracing the changes in your body and accepting them because this is where we are.

Jessie B (14:25.565)
Yeah.

I feel like our message here with renewing in this week of week two is our message trying to be that we're not talking about going backward. It's releasing, like we didn't week one, that expectation or that pull to go backward. It's meeting yourself where you are right now. And maybe a possible reframe could be that your body and emotions aren't betraying you, they're communicating with you.

They're trying to tell you something.

Maureen Mansi (15:01.624)
Right? Renewing to me is, in this stage of life, is becoming this new person in your body now. So that's where I feel. So meet yourself where you are in your body now and be kind and gentle to yourself. you know, just accept all these things that are coming your way because we can really, really put ourselves down and it...

and our mind goes in a million different directions and puts us in so many different places in a negative way. And if we just change the thought and we embrace it, it's a constant journey, but you can live a full life even in midlife.

Jessie B (15:48.505)
Yeah, I just feel like, you know, this all about becoming actually could have been our word, becoming. But so you're talking a lot about noticing awareness, pausing and asking, you know, what feels different right now emotionally, physically, then another practice of practice of what you could do is naming it. So putting a word to it, but not it like, don't judge.

Maureen Mansi (16:02.094)
Mm-hmm.

Jessie B (16:17.459)
putting a name to it without judging what it's being called. I feel more sensitive, feel tired, feel unsure about this, all of these things. So put that word to it, but don't attach the judgment or the meaning with it. Just state what it is. I don't know. And also then, and then reflection. So to offer people gentle practices of, you know, A, B, and C of what they could do.

I know it sounds a lot like we're reiterating, but I feel like it's because you can't stress the importance enough about notice and awareness. Notice it, A. B, name it, put a name to it without attaching judgment. And then C, a huge part of this is reflection. So, I don't know if you wanna talk about reflection.

Maureen Mansi (16:54.872)
Yes.

Maureen Mansi (17:04.928)
Yeah, no, or, yeah, or then let it go, you know? Like, feel all these things and then let it go and just be at peace with it.

Jessie B (17:09.98)
Yeah.

Jessie B (17:15.685)
And it's easier said than done. So it can feel very hard to do this alone. neither of us have had to do this alone because we've had each other and we've coached each other through these things and had coaches who have helped us to really expound and have growth by leaps and bounds over this past year, specifically in 2025. So.

Maureen Mansi (17:17.334)
Yes.

Maureen Mansi (17:41.72)
Yeah, so get the help that you need and we're here.

Jessie B (17:45.275)
Yeah. Yeah, and another thing too is because we're just real people, like we're just real people talking about real midlife issues. So just clarifying that this conversation is not about like dismissing medical care. You know, if you're noticing things, we're not by any means telling you, sorry, this headset keeps falling down, you know, just notice it and live with it.

We don't intend to dismiss medical care at all or ignore serious mental health, physical health problems or minimize any distress. We're just trying to offer practical ways. If something feels concerning, overwhelming, unsafe, support matters. Seek support. We're not saying pull up your big girl panties and just, this is the season you're in, live with it. I don't want us to come across as that way at all.

Maureen Mansi (18:41.42)
No, but you do need a support system. And when you have that, you can't do this alone. I mean, you know, no man is an island. You need a group of people to, you know, help you through things or, you know, bleh. Cut that out.

Jessie B (18:59.867)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, if you're in this right now, like, so here's a couple of things, you know, that I feel like are helpful. One being, you know, if this conversation is stirring something inside of you, and you're not quite sure how to name it yet. We did create a free resource, which is it's a gentle guided reflection. Okay, it's completely free. And it's called Where Are You Right Now? It's not therapy.

It's not about, sorry people, but I'm doing this again. It's not about fixing anything. It's simply a quiet, guided space where you can pause, reflect, listen, one question at a time, completely free. And the link is below if you'd like support as you navigate it, navigate, excuse me, what is unfolding for you.

Jessie B (19:49.073)
So with a closing reflection, if you take anything away from this this week, we want you to take away renewal. Renewal doesn't mean becoming someone new. It means honoring who you are becoming. So let's renew. Let's put an emphasis on that and find ways, you know, how can we renew? Because we're stepping into something beautiful. It's what...

it's what you're gonna make of it. It's not easy though, that's why we're here. We're here to connect with you and say that we understand. We go through these things and it's not easy.

Maureen Mansi (20:16.653)
Yeah.

Maureen Mansi (20:23.18)
Yeah, we get it. It's renewing at this stage in your life, what you're becoming now in this stage of your life.

Jessie B (20:27.549)
Yeah.

renewed vision You can create a renewed vision. That's the next part. That's another part too So, you know if you're unsure and you're working through that identity stuff just a renewed vision of Who how do you see yourself in the future? Who you know, how do you want to be? know one thing I will like before we go is that you know, you mentioned like this eyelash thing going on I don't know if you said this in the beginning, but you were like and you know

Maureen Mansi (20:33.772)
Yes.

Jessie B (21:00.613)
I'm gonna accept this. I'm not gonna find a replacement for the missing eyelashes. And that's really cool because that's showing that, you know, your acceptance of this whole thing that you're going through. However, it's all individual because maybe you don't want to live that way with a gap in your eyelashes. Maybe you want to find some, you know, that's okay too.

Maureen Mansi (21:05.238)
I did, I did.

I guess.

Maureen Mansi (21:26.286)
or I need to learn to not draw attention to it. Because when you draw attention to it, people aren't even noticing. I brought it to Jesse, he I lost it. Well, I see it now that you brought it to my attention. I showed it to my boyfriend. Well, I see it now, but I didn't. So maybe just, again, we magnify everything in ourselves and then we wanna bring it to other people's attention.

Jessie B (21:30.193)
Mmm, wow!

Jessie B (21:36.125)
I didn't even see it at first.

Maureen Mansi (21:55.776)
And then there's that knowing out there, like, she lost her eyelashes. keeps you yourself. Easier said than done.

Jessie B (21:56.027)
Yeah.

Jessie B (22:04.911)
I was gonna talk about and I didn't talk about I was gonna talk about my hair and my little cuz I ended up talking about my boobs This people don't be fooled by don't let size Just don't just don't Anyways, I had a bald spot. Okay, and I could be stressed. I don't know what was going on

Maureen Mansi (22:12.782)
From the head to the... What am I gonna talk about?

Jessie B (22:29.779)
there's actual science behind this but do you ever hear that old back in the day used to hear a lot about like your cells every seven years your cells have renewed and stuff so I don't know if something needed to renew now it's gone now I have little hairs up here but I went to the hairdresser and I this is this probably should have gone up up up in the beginning of the conversation and she was she I've been with her for three years and she said

Wow, your hair dried really fast. And I said, okay, what does that mean? Why does something always have to mean something? I'm like, uh-huh. And what is that? She's like, well, you know, it's like, it's different. Your hair's different. What's different? She's like, well, you have less hair. And I'm like, oh, great. Here we go. Here's another. Now I have less hair. Okay. I guess this is part of, we all know, we Google stuff. Yeah. Part of perimenopause. And then I did have a lot of stress at that time. I was going through a lot of...

Maureen Mansi (23:03.084)
You

Jessie B (23:29.427)
just tons of stress and this bald spot, this spot with no hair like right here. So I had to wear headbands. mean, it grew back. It's there. It's there now, but I'm like, what is, what is going on? What is happening? You know, so yeah. Yeah.

Maureen Mansi (23:41.794)
would bring back.

Maureen Mansi (23:47.596)
Well, stress, big part of everybody's life, causes all changes in your body as well. So whether it's midlife stuff, stress, everything causes physical, those things cause physical changes in your body. yeah, that's the hope. I even thought of getting fake eyelashes and I thought, no, because that's a lot of work and I don't feel like putting fake eyelashes on every day. And let's talk about the ringing in the ear. That happened back in the summer.

Jessie B (24:01.039)
Maybe your eyelashes will grow back.

Jessie B (24:11.443)
You

Jessie B (24:15.539)
Ow.

Maureen Mansi (24:18.262)
I don't know if any of you have had a ringing in your ear, but of course I'm Googling, looking things up and tinnitus, part of perimenopause. So everything that I'm... Yes, yes. So I said, could the ringing tonight be a part of perimenopause? Yes. If you look up any changes you're going through now, I've looked up everything that I'm going through now. And yes, even losing eyelashes could be a hormonal thing.

Jessie B (24:28.807)
That's really, it said that's part of perimenopause.

Jessie B (24:40.371)
Yeah, yeah.

Maureen Mansi (24:48.258)
I look up everything, all these new changes that I'm going through now and everything is related to like midlife hormonal stuff.

Jessie B (24:55.793)
It's just so hard though, because it's, you know, we just go through so many things with our hormones, I feel like. I don't know. And I thought about going down this hole, like, you know, it's easy to want to, like, to yearn for that place and time of when you were younger. And it's not a deficiency or nothing's wrong with you for wanting to do that. It's easy to do because there's such an emphasis on beauty and youth. And, and

Maureen Mansi (25:02.888)
Yeah, we sure do.

Maureen Mansi (25:24.483)
huh.

Jessie B (25:25.777)
you know, is desired, you know, youthful. And now you can't escape it. It's everywhere. It's so hard. I look at stuff like that's why don't want to be on social media. Believe me, whatever you want to do to yourself, that's your prerogative. I don't have anything against it, but it's definitely not easy. You look at people now that are supposed to be 70 years old and they look younger than me. There's...

Maureen Mansi (25:50.05)
bright.

Jessie B (25:51.379)
25 years older, 20 years older, and they look younger than I do. And so we live in this place where we're constantly taken back. We want to escape that. We want to detach from that. But it's kind of hard sometimes because there's so much societal emphasis on beauty and youth.

Maureen Mansi (26:09.302)
Right, I don't know about any of you and just talking about what Jess is talking about, like I know that I wanna, despite going through all these physical changes now and mood changes, I definitely feel okay to age gracefully because that's how I want myself to be. I don't wanna be compared and I don't wanna look like I'm 20 years old because I have a lot of experience in life.

And if I'm wanting to go back, this is just my personal opinion, I'm saying I want to be that person that I was when I was younger. And I am evolving. And I want the years to go by where maybe I have wrinkles on my face or jowls and say, you know what, I've lived my life and I'm okay now with aging the way that I'm supposed to age.

Jessie B (26:42.848)
Ugh, I don't want to go back to school.

Jessie B (27:01.009)
Yeah, so finding beauty in becoming, yeah, in this place where you're at. But it is, it's not easy. Nobody could sit here and say that like, it's just normal to have these thoughts, especially when we're inundated with so much information and so many messages, you know, it's a constant struggle. So I don't know if you want to wrap it up with anything.

Maureen Mansi (27:03.47)
in the stages of your life.

Maureen Mansi (27:11.872)
no.

Maureen Mansi (27:25.294)
Sure is.

Maureen Mansi (27:29.706)
well, just in a nutshell, just at the stage of your life embrace who you're becoming. And that's how you can renew, renew your idea of how you should feel in the stage of your life. Whatever that feels to you. Jess?

Jessie B (27:45.926)
Yeah.

Yeah, hey guys, if this conversation resonated or helped you in any way, please comment below. Remember, we're new YouTube channel, so we love the engagement, we want to hear from you, you can message us directly. It helps us to know what's most supportive, what content we should make more of, and if you're a woman over 40 on a healing journey, or exploring identity, meaning, self-discovery, all of the things that we just discussed, we also invite you to check out our Identity Reset Workbook created especially for this stage of life.

So until next time, bye.

Maureen Mansi (28:20.911)
Bye!